I'll love you always
by Uranaishii
Summary: [oneshot, songfic] War, its parts us like the red sea, with much more red. kirisaku.


_Disclaimer: I do not own system of a down, nor do I own PoT._

_Hey guys, this is to make up for my lack of enthusiasm with Un Lun Dun at the moment..._

_I cried a little at the end of this, and another tidbit, the song is "metro" by system of a down._

_I'm alone_

I, Kirihara Sakuno, remember it all. The dreams of war, dreams of lies, and cannon fire. And then, IT came. The war. It broke me, my heart, and my life.

_  
Sitting with my broken glass  
_

We drank to him last night, to his life; a celebration of all the good times we had together. And I? I drunk myself to drown and into submission. Every moment around these people, his friends, our friends, brought back memories that I was ready to forget. They all sat around, merrily drinking hard liquor, just as I, but their hearts were FAR from celebration. They were mourning just as I was, tearing away little bits of themselves with each spoken word of polite chit-chat.

_My four walls  
Follow me through my past_

I remember it all so clearly. He died because I couldn't stop him from leaving. Yes, he left, to join the war, to protect me, he said.

"If only I didn't have such need for protection, always." I mumbled, morosely.

"I protect you," he said, my love's green eyes sparkling beneath his messy black hair. "Because I love you. I'll love you always." He always said that to me.

The night before he left, we made love. That night, we loved for the last of times.

_  
I was on a Paris train  
I emerged in London rain_

I went with him, to see him off, trying to leech time to be with him, squeezing in every minute.

_  
And you were waiting there  
Swimming through apologies  
_

I met him at the first stop.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered, fidgeting slightly, it had always been a trouble for him to apologize. "I know it pains us to part, but…I can't rest knowing that the love of my life is in danger."

I sat in silence. What could I say? Finally, I knew, there was no breaking his will.

"I'll love you always." I remember feeling tears run down my cheeks. I remember feeling for them and finding none, it was like I was readying myself for the tears that I would shed later.

_  
I remember searching for the perfect words  
I was hoping you might change your mind_

I said them anyways. The words I knew would only strengthen his will to go out and fight that war.

"Couldn't you stay? Protect me here? Why must you leave?!" I was being selfish, for myself and for him. I couldn't bear it. I was always so weak without him. He was, is, my fire. And without him, I'd never burn again.

_  
I remember a soldier sleeping next to me_

He was no longer the man I had known for all of my life, he was a soldier now. Not my darling Akaya.

His head lay in my lap, my hand in his, over his heart. He had awoken earlier, and as if to reassure me, he spoke.

"My heart is always yours. Never forget that." I had whimpered.

He sat up, and placed a delicate kiss on my brow. I still feel it, now, after all this time.

The warmth of his fingers caressed mine while the cold, a/c caressed us both. I shivered, but he stood still, enjoying the moment. He lifted my hand to his warm lips and breathed for another moment, inhaling my scent, locking it into his mind.

_  
So removed  
We spoke in France  
[Minutes passed with shallow words  
Years have passed and still the hurt_

My belly swelled with child. His child. I wasn't so sad anymore.

_  
[Minutes passed with shallow words  
Years have passed and still the hurt_

No, while I wasn't sad, I was worried, how would I take care of her? Would I be a good mother? Would other children pick on her for not having a father around?

_  
I can see you now  
Smiling as you pulled away  
Sorry  
_

His MIA had come in. The day I had dreaded had arrived. I had known from the start.

_  
I remember the letter wrinkled in my hand  
"I'll love you always" filled my eyes_

"No matter what happens, if I die, and even if I don't, I'll always be there. I'll always protect you. Always."

"I LOVE YOU!" I screamed to him.

"Thank you," I whispered, falling to my knees on the dock, "Thank you…"

He smiles to me, from the ship.

Tears, finally, they came, after being held back so long.

_[Thank you for loving me  
Riding on The Metro  
_

The cries of life escaped our daughter's lips, she was almost stillborn.

And he wasn't there to see her. Wasn't there to cut the cord. No. He was there. In some way, I knew he was there.

_  
ahhh_

So sweet. Our baby girl.

_  
ahhhhhhh_

She has his eyes.

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So there. I finished SOMETHING. Hah! Take THAT people who do not review! bwahahahaha!

Towards the end of this, I started listening to "(2 AM) Breathe" by Anna Nalick.

It mellowed me out. XD

I'm not usually into sad romance, but hey, I figured I'd do it this time because no one seems to do system of a down songfics. shrugs

Also the "never burn again" line came form a foo fighters song( i forget the name), as well as the "drunk to drown" line (every dog has it's day) by flogging molly.

So here I am, putting originality in a concept that's not original.

--Annie.


End file.
